words…

Trail up Mt Major on Lake Winnipesaukee

I love this climb. It takes a couple of hours to get up and back, but the views and the exercise are worth it. I climbed this little mountain for the first time late last fall, had the whole place pretty much to myself. I found a spot to sit on the shoulder of the mountain, looking out over the lake, for a good 30 minutes of zazen.

Awesome.

I brought my Notebook of Worthless Ideas with me, did some idea capturing and worked out some things that I had been thinking about. All in all a very worthwhile day.

I should have gone up there again last week. I was feeling down and un-motivated. I am working on quitting smoking and I went “cold turkey” all of two days. By the second evening I was jonesing so bad, I had to get a butt. I normally only smoke about 10-12 cigarettes a day, so I thought it would be easier than it was. In the past seven days I have brought that down to 6 or 7 per day. Much better. I have also started running again and keeping a close eye on what I eat.

I quit smoking once before, about 9 years ago. I gained 25+ pounds that time and it was a bitch losing them again. I am determined not to let that happen this time. I am going to quit and I am going to get my weight down to 200 pounds by the Fourth of July.

It means creating new routines:

• not smoking after I eat,
• not smoking while I drive,
• not taking a smoke break when I feel creatively blocked.

Those have been my tools for avoiding boredom and for collecting my thoughts for a long time. New habits are hard to create, but you can do it with determination and discipline.

I am stronger than I think I am. I can, and will, do this. I promise you. If I have to go up the mountain every week to get myself back in control.